


Let's Talk About It

by midnightseashell14



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fear of Coming Out, M/M, Uenoyama Yayoi mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23138485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnightseashell14/pseuds/midnightseashell14
Summary: For the first time in a long while Mafuyu was genuinely angry.The worst part of it all was that it was directed at Uenoyama.
Relationships: Satou Mafuyu/Uenoyama Ritsuka
Comments: 5
Kudos: 397
Collections: Given Exchange - Winter 2020





	Let's Talk About It

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nightyelfy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightyelfy/gifts).



For the first time in a long while Mafuyu was genuinely angry. 

Sure he had been upset and sad especially right after Yuki had passed and the year following. But this raw feeling that made him tremble and his face burn hot, that had always been rare. 

He had always had trouble processing his emotions and making sense of them but anger had always been easy to identify, easy to show. That was what scared him the most about it honestly. The way his feelings could just flow out, the clear way he could express himself, the hurt he could cause. It made him say things he couldn’t take back. 

That was a lesson he had learned the hard way. 

So while he didn’t like feeling angry, was afraid of it to a certain extent, nothing could stop the simmering anger that was burning under his skin. 

The worst part of it all was that it was directed at Uenoyama.

He loved Uenoyama, heck he would even go so far as to say he adored him. He was so loving, patient and selfless. He (usually) made him feel so happy, so at peace with himself. He didn’t want to be angry at him.

But what was he supposed to do when his boyfriend acted the way he had been over the last few weeks. 

School and band practice were fine, the same as they had always been. There was hand holding, hugs and kisses stolen when they were alone. Those times were just as wonderful as they had always been, they were what had appeased Mafuyu’s anger for so long. It was all the other times that were the problem.

Uenoyama seemed to be actively trying to avoid him and limit contact between Mafuyu and his family. He would insist on picking up Mafuyu at his house or to pick a meeting point, there were no more sleepovers at his place, no more dates in nearby locals. 

It may not have seemed like such a big deal but it was grating on Mafuyu’s last nerve. It was one thing to hide their relationship from strangers for the sake of the band, but this just made him feel like a dirty little secret.

His mother knew all about Uenoyama, had met and loved him. She would gush about what a “handsome, polite and talented young man” he was. He was welcome in every aspect of his home and life but seemed to want to push Mafuyu away from his. It just didn’t feel right.

Mafuyu resolved to confront Uenoyama during their lunchtime in the stairwell today. He would try to be calm and explain his feelings, he just hoped he could actually do it. 

The bell signaling luch finally rang and Mafuyu quickly made his way to the gym with a determined stride. As usual he was there before Uenoyama was. He made his way up the stairs and sat with his face buried in his knees, hands curled around his pants as he waited.

Soon enough he heard the door open and lifted his head to see his boyfriend coming over. He looked as if nothing was wrong, like he had no idea what Mafuyu was feeling. It didn’t help to dull the anger he was already feeling. 

“Hey.” Uenoyama said as he took a seat next to Mafuyu and patted his head softly. Mafuyu could feel himself calm down a little. There had to have been a good explanation, Uenoyama was a wonderful person, he would never hurt his feelings on purpose. He took a deep breath.

“Uenoyama-kun there's something I want to talk to you about.” Uenoyama quirked an eyebrow and nodded his head.

“Sure. What is it?” 

“You’ve been avoiding me lately. I want to know why.” Ah, apparently Uenoyama knew exactly what he was talking about as he paled when the words slipped from Mafuyu’s mouth. He shook his head as if to clear it before turning towards Mafuyu but pointedly avoiding his gaze.

“What do you mean avoiding you? We’re spending just as much time together as we always do.”

“Maybe so, but all that time is spent as far away from your family and neighborhood as possible.” This time a soft flinch. Mafuyu wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t been watching so closely.

“Seriously Mafuyu you're looking too much into it.” That didn’t help Mafuyu’s temper at all.

“I’ve never known you to be a liar Uenoyama-kun, I would like it if you didn’t start now.” Now Uenoyama looked just as upset as Mafuyu felt. 

“Seriously Mafuyu, just drop it. It’s nothing you have to concern yourself with okay.”

There it was, the simmering feeling that had been bubbling beneath his skin the whole time, was starting to boil over. 

“If it makes me feel like some dirty secret that you have to hide then it does concern me! You’ve met my mom, she knows all about our relationship! Why can’t I just go over and see you?”

“Are you serious right now? Those are two totally different things. You know Haruki said we had to keep it a secret, I’m just listening to what he said!

“No you're not! Haruki-san said to keep it a secret from strangers! I’m not saying you have to tell your parents or invite me to a family dinner. I just don’t want to be cut off from you as soon as we aren’t in school or band practice!” Uenoyama looked a little more quilty but quickly hardened his stance.

“What are you talking about we have dates all the time!”

“Your not understanding me, sometimes I just want to be near you. Even if it’s just us sitting next to each other doing homework or writing songs. My place isn’t always convenient, we could be doing that so much more if you would just let me come over!” Why was it so hard for Mafuyu to explain why he was upset. It shouldn’t have been this difficult.

“You just don’t understand Mafuyu. It’s not that simple.”

“Then explain it to me! Do you not want me in your space? Is that the issue?”

“No! I would love to spend more time together but now just isn’t… we can’t right now.” 

A dark thought entered Mafuyu’s mind and before he could even think of shaking it off his lips were forming the words.

“Are you embarrassed of me? Even when I’m just a friend.” Uenoyama-kun looked taken aback, as if couldn’t believe that those words had ever come out of Mafuyu’s mouth.

“What? Of course not! Listen Mafuyu you're blowing this way out of proportion! It’s not a big deal!”

“Yuki was never ashamed of me.” Both of them froze. Oh, there they were. The words that he couldn’t take back. The ones that hurt the people he cared about, that had made Yuki feel so bad he… 

Mafuyu scrambled to fix things, but Uenoyama was already standing up and making his way towards the door.

“Uenoyama-kun, wait! I’m so sorry! I didn’t-”

“I’ll message you later tonight and tomorrow so you know that I’m okay.” Uenoyama walked out letting the door swing firmly shut behind him.

Hours later long after school had ended, Mafuyu laid curled up in his bed, his face pressed into Kedama’s fur. He had finished crying a while ago, now he was just laying there feeling like a jerk. 

He knew that Yuki was a sensitive spot for Uenoyama. He probably didn’t realize that Mafuyu knew but it was easy to tell how much he compared himself to the other boy, how he sometimes felt lacking in comparison. And he had just thrown that in his face. 

Mafuyu didn’t have any tears left so he settled for sniffling softly as Kedama whined and licked at his face, trying valiantly to cheer him up. His phone buzzed on his nightstand and he reached over, expecting it to be a text from Uenoyama letting him know that he was okay. Even after Mafuyu had hurt his feelings he was still looking out for him. 

He was surprised to see that it was actually an incoming call and answered as quick as his fingers could swipe across the screen.

“Uenoyama-kun?”

“Hey, could you come and open the door?”

Mafuyu started and raced out of bed, Kedama at his heels. He almost slipped as he raced to the front door and yanked it open. Uenoyama was standing outside, his phone pressed against his cheek. He turned it off and pocketed it before bending down to pick up Kedama and make sure he didn’t race out of the apartment. The little dog snuggled into one of his favorite human’s arms as he stood up and stared at Mafuyu.

“Hey, sorry about showing up so late. Can I come in?”

Mafuyu couldn’t find his voice to respond so he simply nodded and moved aside to let Uenoyama in. Uenoyama toed off his shoes and gave Kedama a headpat before placing him down on the floor. He turned to look at Mafuyu and frowned, his hands coming up to cup his cheeks, his face apologetic.

“You’ve been crying.” Mafuyu let out a small keening noise as he dove into Uenoyama’s arms, the pair of which wrapped around him immediately in a comforting embrace. 

“Hey, shush, c’mon let’s get you to bed.” Mafuyu let himself be gently led to his room. Uenoyama moved them to sit next to each other on the bed, though he continued to hold him.

“Mafuyu, I’m sorry. You weren’t exactly right but I have been avoiding having you around me at home. I should have just been up front and told you why.” 

Mafuyu quickly shook his head and pulled back to look up at Uenoyama, who looked as if he was about to start crying himself.

“No, I’m sorry. I made assumptions and said hurtful things. I should have just let you come to me when you felt comfortable.” Uenoyama let out a small huff.

“Well let’s be honest, if you hadn’t confronted me about it, I don’t know when I would have gotten around to fessing up and discussing it. We might not have handled it well but you did the right thing.”

Uenoyama stopped and took a deep breath.

“My sister knows about us.”

Mafuyu’s eyes widened, but before he could say anything Uenoyama continued.

“I didn't tell her, she just figured it out. She said some… hurtful things.” 

Mafuyu’s heart dropped. Now his hands were cupping Uenoyama’s face, brushing away the tears that were quickly pooling at the corners of his eyes.

“Oh, Ritsuka, I’m so sorry.”

It was the use of his given name that finally made the tears fall. Uenoyama dropped his head into Mafuyu’s shoulder and let out small hiccuping sobs. It took a few moments but eventually he pulled back and continued after taking some deep breaths. 

“She’s apologized since then, said that she had voiced her concerns about me not wanting to be hurt the wrong way. She really is trying to understand and I appreciate it but… it doesn’t erase what she said.”

Mafuyu nodded understandingly and Uenoyama took that as a cue to keep going.

“She figured it out just by watching us. So I just… I’m so afraid of my parents finding out or a neighbor figuring it out and telling them. I want to tell them about us Mafuyu, I really do! But not right now, I’m not ready for that yet.”

“And you don’t have to be! I promise Ritsuka, I’m not upset that you haven’t told them yet, I just… I guess I didn’t realize that we were so obvious.” Uenoyama let out a small chuckle.

“I don’t think we are. My sister is just super observant, she always has been.” 

He sniffled again.

“I just don’t want my parent’s to react like she did. Or worse. But I do want to spend time just being in the same space as you, just relaxing and doing nothing. I want that with you and I’m so mad that we can’t do it as much as we want.”

Mafuyu pulled his head down so it rested on his shoulder again and brushed his hands against his head and through his hair. 

“It’s okay. We’ll figure it out together.” Mafuyu bit his lip nervously but continued.

“And I need to apologize as well. I shouldn’t have brought up Yuki and compared you two. You’re two completely different people with different circumstances and it wasn't right. I’m sorry.”

“I understand, don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m sure we’re both going to make a bunch more mistakes in this relationship so let’s just call this one even.”

Mafuyu could feel Uenoyama’s faint smile against his skin and it made him tingle. He couldn’t stop his own small smile from appearing in response.  
“It’s been a hard day for both of us. Sleep with me?” Uenoyama nodded and the pair made their way under the covers, holding each other as closely as possible.

Their relationship would never be easy, but they both knew it was worth it for moments like these.

**Author's Note:**

> I was actually a pinch hitter so though I wish I had more time to write for this amazing prompt I basically had around a day and angst is not my strong suit. I hope that everyone still enjoyed!


End file.
